We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink – Epicurus
Epicurus, an ancient Greek philosopher, is best known for his teachings on pleasure, happiness, and the art of living well. His philosophy, often misunderstood as advocating hedonism, actually places significant emphasis on the importance of moderation, wisdom, and above all, human relationships. One of his most insightful quotes, “We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink,” perfectly encapsulates the value he placed on companionship over material pleasures.
Understanding the Quote
At its core, this quote by Epicurus is a reminder that human connection is more valuable than any material possession or pleasure. It suggests that the joy we derive from food and drink—or any material comfort—is secondary to the joy we experience when sharing these pleasures with others. Epicurus believed that true pleasure comes not from the objects themselves, but from the relationships and shared experiences that accompany them.
Living in ancient Greece, a society that highly valued social interaction and communal living, Epicurus observed that people often sought material wealth and physical pleasures in isolation, only to find that these pursuits did not bring lasting happiness. His teachings emphasize the importance of seeking out companions to share in life’s pleasures, as these relationships are what truly enrich our lives.
Epicurus’ Philosophy of Pleasure
Epicurus’ philosophy revolves around the pursuit of pleasure, but not in the way many people might think. He distinguished between two types of pleasures: the physical and the mental. While physical pleasures, such as eating and drinking, are important, Epicurus considered mental pleasures—such as friendship, wisdom, and inner peace – to be far superior.
In this context, the quote highlights that the pleasure of eating is elevated when shared with others, combining physical satisfaction with the deeper joy of companionship. For Epicurus, the highest form of pleasure was the absence of pain and disturbance, which could only be fully achieved through meaningful relationships and a tranquil mind.
The Social Nature of Humans
Humans are inherently social creatures, a fact that was well recognized by ancient philosophers like Epicurus. The need for companionship, community, and shared experiences is deeply ingrained in our nature. In ancient Greece, social gatherings, particularly those involving food and drink, were essential for building relationships and fostering a sense of belonging.
Shared experiences, such as meals, do more than just satisfy hunger; they create bonds, forge friendships, and provide a space for meaningful conversations. Epicurus understood that the pleasures of food and drink are enhanced when enjoyed in the company of others, reinforcing the idea that human connection is a fundamental component of happiness.
The Role of Friendship in Epicurean Thought
Friendship held a central place in Epicurean philosophy. Epicurus believed that friends provide a sense of security and comfort, allowing individuals to face life’s challenges with confidence. He famously said that of all the things that wisdom provides to help one live a happy life, friendship is the most important.
For Epicurus, friendship was not just a source of pleasure but also a means of achieving a peaceful and contented life. Friends offer support, share in both joys and sorrows, and contribute to a life free from fear and anxiety. Thus, the quote underscores the idea that the act of eating and drinking is not just about satisfying physical needs but about nurturing the bonds that bring true happiness.
Food as a Symbol of Shared Experience
Across cultures and throughout history, food has been a powerful symbol of shared experience. The act of eating together has always been a fundamental part of human culture, from ancient feasts to modern family dinners. Sharing a meal is more than just a way to sustain the body; it is a way to connect with others on a deeper level.
Food serves as a medium for building and strengthening relationships, whether through daily meals with family, festive gatherings with friends, or communal feasts in various cultural traditions. Epicurus’ quote captures this timeless truth, reminding us that the true value of food and drink lies in the connections they help to foster.
Modern Interpretation of the Quote
In today’s fast-paced, individualistic society, Epicurus’ quote offers a poignant reminder of the importance of human connection. We live in an age where technology often replaces face-to-face interaction, and where the pursuit of material wealth and personal achievement can sometimes overshadow the value of relationships.
Despite the convenience of eating alone or the ease of accessing material pleasures through technology, there is a growing recognition of the need for meaningful connections. The rise of social media has paradoxically made us more isolated, as online interactions often lack the depth and warmth of in-person communication. Epicurus’ wisdom calls us to prioritize relationships over material goods, recognizing that the joy of sharing a meal with someone far outweighs the satisfaction of eating alone.
The Psychological Benefits of Eating Together
Sharing meals with others is not just a cultural tradition; it also has significant psychological benefits. Studies have shown that people who regularly eat with others tend to experience greater happiness, lower levels of stress, and a stronger sense of community. The simple act of eating together can enhance our mental well-being by providing opportunities for connection, conversation, and emotional support.
Eating together helps to combat feelings of loneliness and isolation, which are increasingly common in today’s world. Whether it’s a family dinner, a meal with friends, or a communal gathering, these shared experiences contribute to a sense of belonging and help to build stronger, more supportive relationships.
The Risks of Materialism Without Human Connection
In a world where materialism is often glorified, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking happiness through possessions and physical pleasures. However, as Epicurus wisely pointed out, these pleasures are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfying when pursued in isolation. The satisfaction of eating a delicious meal, for example, is short-lived if not accompanied by the joy of sharing it with someone else.
When we prioritize material goods over relationships, we risk missing out on the deeper, more lasting pleasures that come from human connection. Eating alone, without the warmth of companionship, can feel empty and unfulfilling. Epicurus’ quote reminds us that the true value of material pleasures lies not in the things themselves, but in the experiences and relationships they facilitate.
Practical Applications of Epicurus’ Quote
Applying Epicurus’ teachings in our own lives can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced existence. One practical way to do this is by prioritizing relationships over material pursuits. Instead of focusing solely on what we eat or drink, we should place greater importance on who we share these experiences with.
Cultivating meaningful connections in our daily lives can be as simple as making time for regular meals with family or friends, reaching out to others for shared experiences, and being present in the moment during these interactions. By doing so, we not only enhance our own well-being but also contribute to the happiness of those around us.
Epicureanism in Contemporary Thought
Epicurus’ ideas continue to resonate in contemporary thought, influencing modern philosophical and psychological theories about happiness and well-being. His emphasis on the importance of relationships and the dangers of materialism is echoed in today’s movements toward mindfulness, minimalism, and intentional living.
In a world that often prioritizes wealth, success, and individual achievement, Epicurus’ teachings offer a refreshing perspective. They remind us that true happiness comes not from the accumulation of material goods, but from the quality of our relationships and the shared experiences that enrich our lives.
Conclusion
Epicurus’ quote, “We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink,” encapsulates a timeless truth about the importance of human connection. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, this wisdom encourages us to prioritize relationships over material pleasures, recognizing that true happiness is found not in what we consume, but in the company we keep. By embracing Epicurus’ philosophy, we can lead more fulfilling lives, enriched by the joy of shared experiences and meaningful connections.
